I was married for almost 30 years and, to everyone who knew us, it appeared we had found each other’s ‘soul mate. ’ I never disagreed with these well-wishers, but often wondered what that really meant. If they were describing ‘compatible, ’ ‘harmonious. ’ ‘like-minded, ’or ‘in-tune, ’ I would concur. The next most over-used term is ‘having chemistry. ’ If they mean that we were both carbon-based life forms, again, a big, affirmative. But when we go down the ‘soul mate’ lane, we’re treading on a spiritual path that has many other implications. We would have to explore the very depths of what composed the human soul and how it would even be possible that somewhere in the vast cosmos there is a destiny that dictates a potential perfect ‘soul-match. ’
The Webster’s definition of ‘soul’ is: “the complex of human attributes that manifests as consciousness, thought, feeling and will, regarded as distinct from the physical body. ”
So we are entering the realm of the intellectual and philosophical study related to the human mind and inner being. This concept has been the fodder for religious arguments since before biblical times. When does the soul enter the body near conception and where does it go after death? Answer that question and you can write your own article.
Suffice it to say, we don’t know much about the subject of what constitutes a person’s psyche and inner spirit. Whether that ethereal element has the ability to seek out a suitable companion is suspect, at best. I would put my faith in my own capability of recognizing someone with similar values and interests by employing the simple act of conversation. This would require several interactions via e-mail, mail, phone calls, or in person to accomplish the task. It sure takes the pressure off of finding that ‘soul mate. ’
Which brings up a finally problem. If we do have a ‘soul mate’ that has been molded by the creator, is it a single entity? It would be logical to assume that we don’t have multiple ‘soul mates. ’ If that were the case, it’s a darn big world out there. Who is to say they are of the same ethnic, religious, or national background. Might mine be somewhere in France, Japan or Kenya? How would one go about finding that elusive spirit? Place an ad on the web? I’m not being sarcastic at all. If it’s an inner-being type quality, how can you possibly search for a person that could literally be anywhere? And, if they could be located, would they immediately recognize you as their perfect match? What if they were Israeli, but you were Iraqi, how would that work out?
I didn’t intend to dash any hopes and dreams, but rather to be realistic. I have found a wonderful second wife that meshes well with my values and interests. And that’s about the most I could hope for. She doesn’t actually consider me her ‘soul mate’ and that’s okay with me. We get a long quite well, regardless of what we call our relationship. I suggest that those of you who are on a quest for the perfect match settle for a reasonable expectation before life passes you by. There are probably many people out there you can be happy with, and not just a special predestined, one. But a ‘soul mate?’ Myth busted!
Jeffrey Hauser’s latest book is, “Inside the Yellow Pages, ” which can be viewed at http://www.poweradbook.com
He was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. Currently, he is the Marketing Director for thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.