Some of you girls must've been there: You're at a bar/party and some random guy comes up hitting on you. When you try to brush him off nicely and politely, he just doesn't want to give up.
"Men think that if they're in a social scene and a girl looks good, it's okay to be aggressive, " says Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph. D. , coauthor of Why Can't You Read My Mind? It's as if they believe that when a woman puts on ravishing clothes and grooms herself nicely, she's asking to be pursued by whoever however whatsoever.
One of the reasons why guys mistake no for maybe is the male ego. If a man approaches a woman while his friends watching, he feels like he is not allowed to miss the shot, so he keeps trying because of the pressure being in the spotlight. Besides, oftentimes men also think it's part of the “game. " either they've heard repeatedly or learned from some lame ass dating experts that women tend to play hard to get(I believe some women do and so do some men though), so they think if they keep trying and keep changing tricks, they'll eventually get what they want. Is it really?
"Many guys feel clumsy about meeting women, so they use alcohol as a social lubricant, " says Michael Kimmel, Ph. D. , author of the upcoming Guyland: The Inner Lives of Young Men. Even if a few drinks can ease anxiety yet they can also trigger aggression if men become upset when they're rejected. Boys if you don't look or act cuter after you're drunk, don't drink so much that you lose all senses!
The best way to deter a guy without having to be a total bitch is to play detached and apathetic loud and clear. Your body language and actions should not send out mixed signals because men often mistake friendly gestures for *** advances. Don't play with your hair or maintain eye contact while talking to him, turn down his offer to buy you a drink, and don't laugh about his jokes, you'll only encourage him.
OK here comes the bitch part, no one likes to be rejected, likewise no one likes to be bugged! If the dude refuses to relent, look him straight in the eye and say in a strong voice, “I'm really not interested, " and then turn away. Most men will respond by putting their tails between their legs or acting like jerks if they cannot handle the rejection.
In such a city jungle, it's ok to have your own survival skills or game plans as long as you can do it right with the right people!
In addition to her fashion flair & insight into character, with over 8 years of experience in sales/marketing in financial service, manufacturing, and retail industries, Jamie multi-dimensionally brings a “grassroots" background to a career as an image consultant to provide assistance in creating, improving, and maintaining the appropriate professional/personal image with a sense of style & a touch of each client's unique personality.
Jamie received her M. B. A.in Finance & Marketing from University of Miami, Coral Gables Florida. Prior to creating JCIC, Jamie was a Sales/Marketing Manager of a furniture company. She is a member of the Association of Image Consultants International, The Entrepreneurial Center, and the National Association of Female Executives.
Jamie Chang, MBA in Marketing & Finance
Image & Social Etiquette Consultant
Fashion & Wardrobe Stylist
JCIC-Jamie Chang's Image Consulting