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How to Make Settlement Letters Work For You and NOT Against You

Dennis Gac

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A Step By Step Example.

The example I'm going to show you comes from a Father in North Carolina. I use it with all our members for two reasons. For one, if you had an arena full of Fathers they would most likely all swear it won't work, especially in their case because the “X" is uncooperative Fathers pretty much won't try something that has any emotional risks. And if they do anything at all, they keep up a protective shield.

So in any initial settlement offer, you must have the following key components. This settlement letter number one is to get the “primer" so to speak. Do not expect a favorable response on this first letter. Instead, send it knowing that you will be following with more letters.

The letter is dated and addressed in a formal manner; however, the salutation says, “Dear Ginny".

  • The letter goes on to present specific solutions to each problem, which includes; parenting issues, custody, property settlement, child support and more.
  • But, most importantly, at the end it states in no uncertain terms that he won't give up and won't roll over for unfairness. Meet ½ way, yes, but not be steam-rolled.

My point is what happens to every “X" that gets this letter and does not respond? 15 days later, they get a second one. This letter goes on to restate the problem, restate the solution, remake the offer. And it works and most often gets response. That's not what's important to our conversation.

What's important is what happens to everybody that gets letter number one and letter number two and still does not respond? A month or so later, they get letter number three. I'm certain you get the picture. Where most fathers make their mistake is in stopping after the first letter.

The secret to Father's rights is that if you want impact, if you want a positive response from the other side, you must have repetition. The two are inextricably linked. One does not happen without the other. But you cannot be unreasonable in your demands either. You can't afford to cause more problems in your case by making unreasonable and emotional demands.

You need a guerilla warfare kind of repetition. Your “X" may not be willing on the first letter or even the fifth letter, but it's worth the cost of a stamp when it could save you thousands in court fees and months in court. And if it never works, you have documented proof for the court that you have been trying repeatedly to settle and work with your “X" while she has refused and been unreasonable. Either way, it's a win-win situation for you!


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