Santa is likely to say many things if he gets stuck in your chimney this year, but “Ho Ho Ho" probably won’t be one of them. And you won’t be inclined to chuckle either if he subsequently makes a personal injury claim against you.
And have you checked the state of your roof recently? Don’t forget that a rather, shall we say, roundly proportioned gentlemen with 12 hulking reindeers is planning on landing on it. A few loose tiles and a resounding tumble could have you explaining yourself to a judge.
In fact, once you start thinking about it, it’s amazing that anyone of us is ever prepared to let the wretched man in – the many and varied ways in which he could come to harm in your home should be enough to have you boarding up the fireplace and leaving a “Santa – don’t stop here" sign on your lawn.
And just imagine the headlines and the national shame if beloved Father Christmas leaves your home limping (or worse, on a stretcher), unable to continue his round to all the hopeful little children in the world. The tears and sobs over empty stockings will be all your fault.
You may think you’re being kind by leaving him a mince pie and sherry by the fire – but what if you’re quite low down on his list and he doesn’t reach your home much before dawn? How long will those festive “treats" have been sitting there? Long enough for botulism and salmonella to start a colony, quite possibly.
He may well be magical, awesome and wonderful. But, is it likely that he’s also immune to every-day problems like back ache? If you didn’t edit your children’s letter to make sure that the extremely heavy computer, rally bike or 12ft Dr Who Dalek were crossed off – then shame on you. Future depictions of this very noble man will also have to include a walking stick or zimmer frame thanks to you.
While we don’t wish to alarm you unduly, have you spared a thought for all those little elves who have worked so hard to make your Christmas as enchanting for your children as you hope it will be? Or did you think that EU directives on working hours and conditions did not apply to them? Well, they do.
It’s a very good thing that Santa and his little helpers have the sympathetic and wise services of The Claim Solicitors (leading online personal injury solicitor: www.the-claim-solicitors.co.uk) to call on if necessary. “People can be very insensitive to the needs of Santa, the reindeers and his elves, " says Jeremy Newson, “and the potential for any of them coming to harm are enormous. In fact, a few years ago he contacted us to enquire about his civil litigation rights after Rudolph (his favourite reindeer) got his nose caught between some ragged chimney bricks causing lasting and permanent damage – the sore-looking redness can still be seen today. "
“In fact, it is a testament to the good-nature of the man that he decided not to pursue the compensation claim, and made up a fictitious account of how Rudolph came by his red and shiny nose. "
“So we would ask all householders to pause briefly in their festive celebrations to spend a moment or two in quiet reflection on their duty of care to Santa and his crew. After all, if you’ve been a good boy or girl this year, then he will have spent time thinking about you!"
Editorial notes: The Claim Solicitors are personal injury solicitors who specialise in bringing compensation claim cases on a no win no fee basis. For further details call 0800 197 3232 or visit http://www.the-claim-solicitors.co.uk
Author: Donna McCann. For more information call 0800 197 3232 or visit http://www.the-claim-solicitors.co.uk