Being that you’re female, you probably thought that raising a girl would be a piece of cake. It kind of makes sense because, after all, you have been through all the ages and stages of girlhood, I mean how hard can it be? And then your little princess arrives, and you soon realize that all those years of hands-on experience did little to prepare you for being a girl’s mother.
Parenthood is exciting and terrifying at the same time. There is no “Parenthood 101” in our studies at school. We’re expected to just know what to do, and know what to say. There seems to be about as many moments that feel secure as there are of ambiguity. It’s these ambiguous times that make you realize there is no preparation for motherhood, no possible way you could know that her embarrassing tantrums are part of the process and part of her growth. How to deal with them is all too real, and difficult at times, and though you know the moment will soon pass, it can seem like forever. It’s hard to fathom that one moment she’s your adorable behaved daughter, happily playing with her baby gifts and dolls. The next moment, she’s throwing a crying fit of epic proportions that the whole neighborhood can hear.
It is challenging, but once you learn how to work out your mother-daughter dynamics, you will find that these years will be among the most fulfilling years in your life. Here are survival tips to help you get by:
She is not your Mini-Me. It is tempting to assume that because she is a girl, your daughter would be your “mini-me, ” having the same personality and sharing the same interests. If you feel this way, prepare yourself to be proven wrong. As tiny as she is, your daughter is a unique individual with her own unique personality and set of abilities. You may be very feminine and like all things floral and frilly, but your daughter may be the tomboyish type who loves adventures and adores animals. If it breaks your heart that she won’t even get properly dressed for special occasions, you can combine those two preferences together by getting her hair clips that have butterflies or animal faces. It may take a while for you to get used to it, but you will eventually see that it’s just part of how your daughter expresses herself.
Practice anger management. And practice well. Kids are adept at pushing their parents’ buttons and you may have realized by now that this is especially true for girls. When people say that girls mature quicker than boys, they actually mean that girls are first to plunge into emotional warfare. Girls tend to experience such emotions as guilt and jealousy earlier than boys, who may still be expressing feelings physically.
Pick your battles. Asthey say, there is a time and a season for everything. There is a time to engage in battle and there is a time to walk away. The tantrums of a little girl who can’t get her way can seem like a fight you were doomed to lose, but once you master the art of knowing when to put your foot down and when to just brush it off, you can survive them. Think carefully about whether you really want to invest your time in a fight over her insistence to wear her girly hair accessories with her brother’s superhero costume to the supermarket. If it’s not going to do her irreparable harm, consider just saving your energy for another day.
They grow up so fast. Any mom would tell you that this is true. It may look like she’ll be playing with those baby gifts forever, but before you know it, you’ll have witnessed so many changes in her development. Try your best to spend time together, developing a bond and building memories that will strengthen the foundation of your future relationship.
Enjoy the ride. It’s the best adventure you will ever embark on in your life. Enjoy your little girl for who she is. Discover what makes her a unique individual and you will find that slowly, you are discovering yourself too.
Rachelle Salinger is a freelance writer whose two passions in life are: family and fashion. This mother of two loves to stay on the loop of the latest trends in hair accessories and the best baby gifts in the market. She currently writes for No Slippy Hair Clippy, purveyor of the finest non-slip hair clips for girls of all ages.