Already on ArticleSlash?

Forgot your password? Sign Up

Tips For Raising Happy Kids?

Winsome Coutts
 


Visitors: 198

As a grandmother and self-help writer, I'm often asked by readers, “How do you raise happy kids?" This is a question near and dear to every loving parent's heart. No matter what we teach them, if we haven't taught them how to be happy, or can't parent in a way that makes them feel happy, it's rather all for naught, isn't it? So it's a very pertinent question.

I've been blessed with having two happy children and two happy grandchildren. I applied certain principles in raising my kids, and see my son and daughter-in-law apply the same in raising their adorable daughters, Klara and Stina. In this article, I'll share two tips I've learned along the way.

The first is the importance of modeling happiness. You can't give something you don't have. How can you teach kids happiness if you don't have it yourself? Some parents think loving their family means living only for them, driving them everywhere, cleaning up after them, and putting their kids’ needs and desires way ahead of their own. Parenting shouldn't turn us into a short-order restaurant or a cleaning or taxi service. It does for some parents. That teaches kids a bad lesson.

A child who perceives his parent as a servant, someone whose life has meaning only through catering to his whims, learns to be selfish. He comes to believe others exist to do his bidding. I have a friend who was raised like that, and she tells me when she grew up, she kept having the strange feeling, “Where are all the servants?" Being catered to was such an ingrained part of her childhood that adjusting to adulthood was difficult for her, because “the servants" were missing.

Kids who are raised this way tend to feel the world owes them a living. So breaking out of the “doormat" mode, if you're in one, is pretty central to giving your kid a chance at a smooth transition to happy adulthood.

When you take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and do things that make you happy, your child learns those behaviors from you. If she sees you going for your dreams and making decisions based on your inner truth, she learns that doing those things is good. On the other hand, if you model dropping everything to fulfill her latest dictate, she learns that parenting means self-denial and victimization. She may then become a self-effacing parent herself or go the other extreme and forego parenting entirely because it looks like such a sacrifice.

So to raise happy kids, be good to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and dignity the same as you treat your child. Don't allow disrespect toward you any more than you'd allow someone to be rude to your kids. Make time for your creative desires and dreams. Plan in some scheduled personal time each week (or day), and make sure that you take it.

Let your kids see you're doing this, and tell them the reason: “Mommy needs to have some fun, too, " or “Moms need time every day to relax. " This shows your child that you value yourself, and that personal time is important to everyone's happiness.

The second tip I've learned for raising happy kids is the tremendous value of focused attention. The best form this can take is uninterrupted, one-on-one personal time with your child. Think back to your own childhood and some of your happiest memories. Chances are they include that hike you took with Dad, or the time you and Mom went to the restaurant for a dessert.

When we set aside an hour or two to be with our child, away from distractions and interruptions, we tell him he is important and loved. Giving focused attention is much more powerful than the diffused attention kids get while we cook dinner, drive them somewhere, or break up conversations to take calls on our cell phone.

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention the way plants thrive on sunshine. Structure in some focused attention every day, even if it's only for five or ten minutes. Look at your child when he talks to you, so he knows you're completely with him. In love, it's the subtle things that count.

Giving focused attention teaches self-worth: your child knows she's valuable because you value her, enough to carve out time for you and her, uninterrupted by the world, for those moments. That spells love, and when she knows you love her, by your actions not your words, that brings security and heart fulfillment, essential foundations of happiness.

In this busy world where parents work two jobs and where kids’ social calendars can rival those of debutants, it isn't easy to make time to take care of yourself and uninterrupted time for you and your child. But for happiness, nothing could be more important. Think about your schedule, what is nonessential that you can cut out, or wasted moments that you can eliminate. Use that harvested time to be good to you and your kid. Your child's happiness, and yours, depend on it.

Want to know more tips for raising happy children? Subscribe to my newsletter and receive my free e-book, “Raising Happy Kids. " and also check out my exciting new “Go for Your Goals" for kids at http://www.4lifehappykids.com/ - a set of downloadable e-books that guide your child through the joyful steps of learning visualization, goal-setting and the Law of Attraction. Simple language enhanced with beautiful illustrations and worksheets make these books appealing and motivating. To learn more, visit my website: http://www.4lifehappykids.com/

(959)

Article Source:


 
Rate this Article: 
 
"Raising Smart Rich Kids - 3 Vital Steps to Prepare Your Child For Success and ..
Rated 4 / 5
based on 5 votes
ArticleSlash

Related Articles:

Life Skills - The Key to Raising Happy, Successful Children

by: Pam Golden (October 12, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

Raising Fit Kids

by: Nick Clark (July 13, 2008) 
(Health and Fitness)

Raising Good Kids II

by: Kenneth Buchholz (July 16, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

Raising Good Kids

by: Kenneth Buchholz (July 13, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

Is Caring For Pets As Stressful As Raising Kids

by: Donald Saunders (January 16, 2007) 
(Home and Family)

Kids Halloween Costumes May Determine If You Are Raising the Next Hollywood ..

by: Andy West (December 13, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Holidays)

Gen Text - Raising Well-Adjusted Kids in an Age of Instant Everything Book ..

by: Carrie Lauth (December 31, 2008) 
(Reference and Education/Psychology)

How to Balance a Happy Bride with a Happy Bank Account - Tips for Financially ..

by: Kit Marsters (January 13, 2007) 
(News)

"Raising Smart Rich Kids- 4 More Vital Steps to Prepare Your Child For Success ..

by: Terry Mazzer (September 29, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

"Raising Smart Rich Kids - 3 Vital Steps to Prepare Your Child For Success and ..

by: Terry Mazzer (September 29, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)