I know as a single parent or even with 2 parents, it is hard raising a teenage girl or a boy.
I noticed throughout my son's teenage life, his emotions were different than mine. There is a difference between girls and boy. The book that came out I think in the 1980's - Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus really made sense. If you haven't read that book, you could get the book or tapes and just get an idea of how we are different.
For me, I don't fight very often with my son. He is more mellow than I am. What we do argue about is cleaning. He just hates cleaning but I don't like it either. Who does? So what I try to do is talk with him the day before to let him know what we need to do. Again, you can write down what chores need to be done.
So if we discuss the cleaning aspect beforehand, we can deal with it when the time comes.
Another thing is sometimes there are things that your son or daughter may do that you may not agree with. This is the time you need to figure out if this is worth fighting about. If your child for one night wants to stay up later because there is a program they are looking forward to, then is it worth to argue about or just let them watch the program?
Now I know my sister and her daughter are always fighting with each other. If her daughter says something in a nasty way, my sister jumps on her and argues back. Someone has to give in. You are the mother and she is the child. Don't argue back and forth if there is not going to be an end result. They do alot of name calling which has no purpose except to hurt each other. Sometimes they both look like 5 year old kids arguing back and forth. Someone has to give in and I feel the mother should be the example to give in and just ignore the behavior. How else is your child going to learn giving in is okay.
If my son and me have differences, sometimes he gives in and most of the time I do. The quicker you make up with your child, the more time you can love each other and spend time with each. If I am aggravated with my son and I have given in but I am still aggravated, I pray to GOD that I feel the love in my heart again for him. And all the time I do feel the love again almost instantly.
If what you are arguing about is not worth anything, then drop it immediately and just spend quality time with them. Your children will not be with you forever. They grow up and leave.
Copyright 2005 Fern Kuhn, RN - Specializing in Diabetes
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