Parenting Your Teenager: When Kids Lie

Jeff Herring
 


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Here's a newsflash - teenagers lie to their parents.

Fortunately no huge amounts of taxpayer dollars were spent to discover that tees lie to their parents. It's just something I have noticed while doing what I do for the last 25 years.

Because the average 15 year old is 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5 all at the same time, teens can come up with some fairly convincing stories. What I believe happens is that they combine the “wisdom" and verbal ability of the 15 going on 25 year old with the “I want what I want when I want it which in NOW!" of the 15 going on 5 year old and can tell parents exactly what they want to hear.

This is called manipulation.

So why lie?

Teens will lie for one or more of the following reasons:

1. To get out of trouble.

2. To get something they want.

3. To make themselves or a situation look better than it really is.

Tips for spotting lies

1. Run the story you are hearing through the filter of the 3 reasons above. Does the story fit one or more of the 3 criteria.

2. Does the story match what you already know to be true?

And the number one way to tell if a teen is lying -

3. Does the behavior match the words?

If you have behavior on one hand and words (a story) on the other hand, and they do not match, go with the behavior.

Behavior speaks louder than words.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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