I'm a parenting coach so the majority of my clients are parents. Although we focus mainly on their parenting challenges, inevitably at some point, issues they still have with their own parents arise. They picked up messages that became truths or they interpreted those messages as truths. Some are motivating but others are destructive and impede the success of relationships as well as careers.
Here are 7 important messages our children need to hear:
1. It's OK to make a mistake. You'll learn important lessons and all the people in the world who have made a difference made lots of mistakes.
2. Your opinion is just as valuable as anyone else's. You deserve to be heard. People will respect you for taking a stand and having an opinion.
3. Trust your intuition. It will always guide you in the right direction. If something feels right, it probably is right. If it feels wrong, it's probably wrong.
4. We all believe in you. Remember that. We see you doing great things.
5. No matter what, we are here to support you. Our love for you is unconditional.
6. Follow your own path, not mine. You have a purpose that is unique to you and I know you'll find it.
7. I know you can do this. Don't give up.
Things we say and don't say to our children are programmed into them and become part of who they are. If you grew up believing that no one had any faith in your abilities it's hard to believe in yourself. If you felt pressured to follow a career path that someone else wanted for you, you grow up feeling that you weren't accepted and loved for who you are. If you were reprimanded every time you made a mistake, it makes it difficult to try new things for fear of making a mistake. Our words have an enormous impact on the lives of our children.
Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach and has been working with parents for close to 20 years. To get more tips and insights on parenting visit her website at http://www.theparentingcoach.com - Claim your fr*ee copy of her popular e-book “Raise Your Children But Not Your Voice" when you sign up for her monthly parenting ezine.