We want to be there for our kids and help them all the time so that they do not feel much pain. But the only thing that this makes us is ‘nosy’. You make yourself available when your 10 year old has just told you to help him do his homework or get his clothes ready only to be called a pushy parent.
Well this is how it looks on the other side of the river as kids think, you are not giving them any space. So how do you go about not being a pushy parent?
Well one solution does not apply for everyone. Every child is different so try not to apply the same strategy you used with the older sibling to the younger one. On the onset try to understand your child. What he likes, does not like. How opinionated he is, how fast he gets influenced, who are the ones that influence him and so on.
Point systems don't always work, it only brings in more arguments and sorting of points. Helping in homework ends up in wails and bouts of hysteria. So instead of just giving up completely, give up a bit. Meaning, try not to always be around your kid. Make them understand that they are responsible for their homework and help only if they ask. Do not finish a job that is not done by them. Let them get back and complete it.
Praising your kid for a job well done is always a good thing. Similarly do not throw him in the dungeons if he failed or was not good at also because once you soil the confidence of a child, it is very difficult to raise his spirits again. So be optimistic if he has done been up to the mark. Let it pass off like he slipped it or he will surely do better next time. Give your child enough time and patience before you conclude on his behaviour and reprimand him on the same.
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