As a young person I noticed that there are some things that people are just plain good at. Its like they are a natural. Baseball, football, basketball no matter the sport, the truly great athletes were born athletes. . That is not to say that they did not have to practice. It just seems like SUCCESS came much easier for them.
My guess is that by now you are thinking. . . I thought this was going to be an article on parenting. Wow! It occurred to me that no one is naturally a great parent even though we all, well most all, want to do a great job raising our child or children.
Think about it. The consequences of being a bad parent are more than a little inconvenient. In the next few paragraphs I would like to share with you my ideas on how to raise a confident, respectful, independent, fun loving, and obedient child that should be prepared to live in this great society that we live in. If you are thinking there are more qualities that a child should learn, I agree with you, that would take a book or maybe even volumes to cover. Maybe that will be next.
Raising the Confident Child
Keep in mind that a child has develops his or her complete value system by the age of four or five. With that in mind, if you plan on raising a confident child you can not wait until they are in their teens and are in need of professional help. Raising the confident child begins with each and every interaction that you as a parent have with your newborn child. Here is a list of tips that will assist you in raising the confident child.
- 1. When interacting with your child, speak to them in a normal everyday voice. Baby talk is learned. You do not want your child to have to break that speech pattern when they enter school.
2. Make a big deal out of small accomplishments. If you want your child to be a people pleaser and gain confidence they must first receive that positive feed back from you.
- 3. Do not raise your voice when correcting your child. I know this will be difficult, but it is very important. Remember, you are the adult in every situation. Irrational behavior such as screaming or yelling only teaches a child how to be irrational, not confident.
- 4. Be specific. Do not merely tell your child, “You must be good. ” Most young children need for you to be specific. Tell them specifically what it is that you want them to do.
Raising the Respectful Child
Many people will tell you respect has to be earned. While this is true in our adult world, teaching respect to a two or three year old is different. A child learns respect by modeling their parents behavior. If you want a respectful child, you must be his or her example.
If your child sees you showing respect to grandparents, friends, and neighbors then he will learn respect. On the other hand, if you start talking negatively about them as soon as they are out of sight, the child will perceive this as acceptable behavior. It is very important that you genuinely respect and care for the people that you and your child interact with.
Raising the Independent Child
While it is hard for a new parent to even think about the importance of independence, one can not start too early. We all want our child to eventually make their own decisions. But the trick is to give them this responsibility only when it truly does not matter to you what decision they make.
Young children will often ask to go and play outside. This is the perfect opportunity for you to say, “I am going to let you decide. ” This will teach them how to make decisions and they will realize that sometimes it will be up to them.
As they get older and their decisions become more important it will be imperative that you continue to let them make the decision. Safety is always of high importance, but if no one is going to get hurt, much can be learned through good and bad decision making.
Raising the Fun-Loving, Happy Child
We all want our children to be happy and have fun as they grow up. The biggest problem is when parents do not listen to their children. Yes! That is what I said. You must listen to your child. Many parents expect their child to be little clones of themselves.
Many parents try to live their second childhood out through their children. This may be the result of a false pretense or a dream that the parent could not have achieved because of a lack of ability. Just because you like fishing does not mean your child will. You may have enjoyed tap or ballet as a child but your child may never put those shoes on.
Like I said, listen to your child. Bed time is a great time to wind down and listen to your child tell you what they enjoyed about the day. If you will listen, you can find out what they dream about and what is important to them.
They are just like us, sometimes they just need to let someone else know how excited they are about their next adventure. Sometimes they need to let someone know if they had their feelings hurt that day. Some of my fondest memories have been a good talk or listen followed by a prayer.
Raising the Obedient Child
This quality I saved for last because I think it is very important in preparing a child for each of the other qualities. A confident, respectful, independent, fun loving, and happy child can not achieve these qualities without being obedient. In order to raise an obedient child, the child must be confident that you as the parent love and respect them.
In order to raise an obedient child they must be allowed to be independent and make decisions even when you are not there to assist them. Lastly, you can bet that an unhappy child will be anything but obedient. So if you want to raise an obedient child that obeys his parents, grand parents, teachers, and someday even his or her employer, you must convince them that to be obedient is more valuable than disobedience.
I believe that good things happen to people who are obedient to their elders and supervisors. This must become a part of a child’s value system. Remember, I stated that children form their value system at a very early age. Many believe they form their value system by the age of four or five. So it is up to us to teach our children the importance and rewards of being obedient.
Raising children is our most important purpose in life as a parent. None of us are naturally great or gifted as parents. Our own childhood experiences may or may not be helpful. It is my most sincere hope that some of this advice will assist you in the blessed adventure of raising children.
Bob Roach Father of one and middle school teacher of literally thousands over the past thirty years. To find out more parenting tips, check out BabyNameBox.com