I believe that a father's role is very important, below are a few of our experiences that make me so convinced:
1. Sometimes when my daughter and I are upset with each other, my husband can step in to be a peace maker. Women or girls tend to be more emotional or sensitive, and sometimes we just get hurt about some little things. Or maybe sometimes there were some miscommunication and we misunderstood each other. Girls on the whole tend to be very petty. My husband has always been able to explain to each of us what our intentions were and clear up all the unnecessary hurts and misunderstandings. I think this is so valuable to remove any bitterness that may harbor inside our daughters’ heart. They do not need to carry all the hurt that are perceived to be caused by her mother into adulthood, thus free her to be who she is.
2. When my second daughter refused to go to school, and I was at a loss as to how to convince her, her father stepped in and spent hours talking to her. This was a great help, as I really didn't know what to do anymore. My husband was able to give her various analogies, and to teach her how to accept certain things that she has to do even though she doesn't like it - like going to school. I think this is a very important lesson in life, sometimes we refuse to accept the imperfect situations in our lives, and we make a lot of fuss - no different from my daughter. If we were taught how to accept all the unpleasant situations that happen because there is no other better alternatives, we will be a happier and more contented person. I believe my daughter will learn to see the positive side of things later in life, because she has a father that is able to use this incident to teach her this important lesson.
3. I think a father's love is very important to his daughter. He is able to give her a sense of security. If he is a father that is always available for her, she will know that she has a pillar of strength that she can lean on. Because my daughters have a father who supports and understands them, I believe they will not have problems with men later in their lives. I noticed that girls that do not have a father's love tend to be insecure, and when they are teenagers, they may turn to boys to fill their empty love tanks. This may lead to broken relationships, because they tend to end up with the wrong guy, or they expect too much from him. Very often it is a form of seeking approval from a manly figure. Example: If a father never tells his daughter how beautiful she is as a person, or that he loves him unconditionally, subconsciously she may have a desire to show this by dressing up inappropriately just to get a manly figure to tell her this. She may require the boy to validate her beauty and will fall for the first guy that tells her she is beautiful. This is an unhealthy behavior. In actual fact, she should be confident of her beauty. This can only happen if her father validates this during her childhood.
4. When a father is able to teach his daughters obedience and respect, they will have no problems with authorities in the future. His daughters will be able to have a healthy relationship with whoever is in authority, and the tendency to rebel will be a lot less. They will also know how to respect the elderly. I think having a good attitude towards whoever is in authority is very important for our daughters later in their lives, especially in their work place. They need to have a healthy relationship with their bosses and colleagues in order for them to have a happy work life. If they have no problems respecting the person in authority and the elderly, they will also have no problems in respecting their husbands in the future.
Ruth Bonnemare is a very experienced mother who enjoys counseling and training young families. A renowned cook in her hometown, she loves to research into healthy living and healing foods from around the world. She has also consulted on breast feeding and supports young mothers on breast feeding while working. She maintains a website at http://www.allteachingparentingskills.com/ .