Caregiver's Choice


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What will your life be like after you place your loved one in a long-term care facility?

Will you feel lonely, have caregiver guilt, be stressed out, or sad? More than likely!

One of the hardest things to overcome is the caregiver guilt. You will probably feel guilty because you are out having a nice time, while your loved one sits in a nursing home. You may feel like you should have or could have done more to keep them at home. You will also wish you had them back.

There is a wonderful book by William Bakkus, called “Telling Yourself the Truth. " If caregiver guilt is your heavy burden, you should post these truths on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror until you believe them. (It might take a while)

1. You did not cause this disease
2. Your loved one would not have wanted you to stop living
3. Being a caregiver was one of the most noble and wonderful things anyone can do for a loved one
4. You did the best you could under the most extreme care giving circumstances.

While it is obvious that you did not put your loved one in a nursing home only to abandoned them, on the outside world you still have several tough choices to make.

Are you going to live again? Or are you going to let caregiver guilt, stress, loneliness dictate how you will live your life?

It is important that you give yourself some time to adjust or to let all of those feelings out or grieve, just know that the goal is to begin living again.

At some point in the process, all of this becomes a choice. A choice to live again! ~ Dutchy

Renee “Dutchy" Reeves is an Elder Care Consultant with over 10 years of working with the elderly and their families. Her online advice column, “Ask Dutchy" provides practical ideas and advice for assisting the elderly with Alzheimer’s disease, Dementia, Parkinson's, disability, and those needing long term care. See other articles by her at


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