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Things to Avoid in a Eulogy Speech

Margaret Marquisi
 


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The traditional format of a eulogy speech is normally an introduction, the main body and then a conclusion. You may use a special quote or poem in the introduction or the conclusion as well.

If you are the main speaker you will need enough information to speak for at least eight minutes. If you are one of the speakers, then your eulogy speech should probably not be more than three minutes-two minutes may also be acceptable.

You want to have the essential information about the departed available to you as you write the speech, and you want to make sure that you have checked your facts.

Prepare your writing environment so that you are comfortable. You will have many different things to deal with as you write. The first is your own emotions. Please understand that this is a rather normal part of the process. So try to find a location that is peacefully comfortable for you to prepare in.

The eulogy speech is an honest statement and heartfelt message about the person's life. If you have done it correctly, your loved one will have a speech that honors their life, commemorates their passing and celebrates all that they were. To help you make sure you can achieve this goal for your loved one, let's take a look at a few things you should try to avoid.

- If your loved one had a slow and painful illness, it may be that you will naturally share those last months with the audience too heavily. This is only natural, it was the last phase of their life, but try to avoid this. Talk about the fact that his or her illness lasted a long time and that they were happy to finally be out of pain. But limit it to one or two sentences. Their illness was not their life. You are there to share their life.

- Sometimes a departed person had some bad relationships or feelings with or about others, that maybe you feel you need to address as a part of the eulogy speech. Again, not publicly. If you feel that this person or persons needs to visit with you regarding this upsetting incident of the departed person's past, then it should be done quietly and privately.

- Sometimes a person may find themselves in a very difficult situation of having to talk about a departed person who truly did not live a life that was easy. Perhaps there was time in prison, or drugs or alcohol that shattered that person's life. Here you do not want to avoid or ignore this, especially if it somehow was related to the passing. Yet, you need to address it in a kind and caring manner. Then you need to get your audience to travel back in time to an earlier point before the bad times happened. Balance is required for the healing. You may say something like. We all know that Jeremy struggled in his last years with alcohol and it did finally take him in the end. We all also know that this was not Jeremy. There was a time before that hard time where Jeremy was a hard worker and a good father. Jeremy was still a hard worker and a good father to the day he died. You all know that too.

- Incorrect facts. Make sure you have the right information.

- Lies. Never tell a lie in the eulogy speech. Honestly present the person and his life. No matter what, it was a good life with many beautiful moments.

Margaret Marquisi is a retired writer and fulltime grandmother. To learn more about eulogy speech or eulogy speeches , visit her website.

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