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Your Toddler's Individuality

Alvaro Castillo

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Toddlers are moving from being totally dependent on their parents to trying to control themselves and their universe. They begin to discover their individuality and try to determine how much power they have on individuals.

Toddlers are at an age of daring exploration. They will climb ladders far too high, run much too far away and try to eat dangerous things. Parents of children at this age group must set limits without overprotecting a child. The child must learn what's too high, too hot or too sharp.

Children are very negative during this period. Because of the child's extreme inquisitiveness, parents find themselves saying no often. The child, however, is driven by a burning desire to explore and to control anyone who tries to interfere with those explorations.

The constant “no, no, no" of the child is meant to ensure his or her autonomy. Toddlers will often say no when in fact they have every intention of doing what their parents ask. Again, this is their way of telling you who is in charge.

Their “no" really means, “no, I'm not going to do it because you want me to do it, but I will do it because I feel like it and because I'm in charge here. " Parents would do well to employ some diplomacy.

Every diplomat knows how important it's for the opponent to save face. Parents can let the child say no while at the same time making sure that he or she does what is expected. Like the “no" syndrome, temper tantrums in toddlers are often a reaction to a world they can't control.

It's their way of dealing with parents whom they perceive as interfering with their autonomy. The tantrums are a sign of toddler's frustration, not only with parents and the world but also at their inability to communicate that frustration.

As children become more verbal and are more able to express their anger. Temper tantrums become far less frequent. A parent can be most helpful by encouraging children to communicate their feelings directly rather than using tantrums and other aggressive acts.

Try not to let tantrums become a successful tactic for your child to obtain a goal. Despite the 1st steps toward independence, the toddler still requires a tremendous amount of holding and touching.

These interactions are important for children in this age group to develop their personalities. It's not easy being a parent of a 2 year old. For that matter, it's not easy being a 2 year old. This period often create the greatest amount of anxiety for parents and has been dubbed the “terrible twos"

The terrible twos may not seem so terrible if the parents realize what's going on. Their task is to aid the toddler in becoming independent. This requires not only tremendous affection and more patience than at any other stage of development but also a thorough understanding of what the child is going through.

Alvaro Castillo has been writing health articles for five years. One of his specializations has been on parenting and pregnancy. If you would like to get the best out of parenting, then visit his website at or visit his blog at to share your opinion.


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