I was recently asked by one of my clients, “I am in talk therapy and I do my Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I think I have been not succeeding/just barely making it, because I am worried my mother is going to take credit for my success (just like she did when I was younger). I am stuck and am not sure that I want to be unstuck because of this fear. Any suggestions?"
I have encountered many clients who want to heal something in their lives, but on some level they perceive there is a penalty for getting better.
They think if I get better:
- Others are going to be jealous of my progress.
- I am going to back side again and that sort of failure will be devastating.
- If I heal my friends who have the same problem won't like me any more. (This is a very common for weight loss clients. They think, “If I lose weight my fat friends will be jealous and not like me any more")
- If I get better others are going take credit for my progress.
- I don't know how to act healthy.
- People only give me attention to help me with my problem. If my problem goes away no one will pay attention to me.
When we have beliefs like these it is going to be very difficult for us to heal because part of us believes healing is bad for us. In these cases it is a great idea to start with the resistance to healing before we work on the main issue at hand.
In the example of this the questions I would begin with doing work on the fact you are worried your mother is going to take credit for your progress.
Possible tapping phrases might look something like this:
Even though I am worried that my mother is going to take credit for my progress I love and accept myself.
Even though my mother always takes credit for all my progress I give myself permission to heal
It doesn't matter if my mother takes credit for my progress the most important thing is that I am healing.
Even if my mother takes credit for my progress I know in my heart I am the root of all my healing and progress.
It is more important that I heal than worry m mother is going to take credit for my progress
I don't care if my mother takes credit for my progress
I give myself permission to heal regardless of what other people are going to say and do.
I deserve to heal, regardless of how others are going to act.
Gene Monterastelli is an EFT practitioner based in Baltimore, MD who works with clients from all over the world. one-on-one by phone. He has authored over 100 articles on EFT. http://eftQandA.com