I was 18 when I had my first anxiety attack. I was in the movie theatre when I started to feel very nervous. My heart began to pace and my whole body tensed up. At first I thought it might have been an allergic reaction to something I had eaten, then I began to fear it was something more serious like a heart attack. I left for the toilet and was so terrified I could not go back to my seat. I wondered what was going wrong with me.
That was the first of many anxiety or panic attacks to come over the next few years. I did not know what a anxiety attack was until my doctor explained it to me. He didn't give me much information about it but said I had an anxiety disorder. He prescribed some medication to calm me down but I stopped taking them as I concerned I would become addicted to them or that they were not so good for me.
Sometimes at night I would wake with anxious about the day to come. The one thing always on my mind was “am I going to have a anxiety attack today?". Along with this I began to have thoughts that scared me like I might go crazy and do something totally out of character in public or with the people close to me. And if I did, what would people think of me. I was literally becoming scared of my own fear and becoming my own prisoner.
I lost confidence in my own ability to control my own life. It influenced a lot of decisions I made for the next few years. I lost my job, my income, and boyfriend and my self-esteem.
This however is a letter of hope. I am writing this to let others who might be experiencing something similar that I found a way out of my anxiety. I found the Panic Away program on the internet and was initially suspect of buying it as I had heard of many supposed ways to cure anxiety attacks. Somewhat desperate I took a chance and downloaded the e-book with full intentions of getting my money back once I had confirmed it was a scam. But I was surprised. They knew exactly what I was going through and they outlined a way to move out of the anxiety with a technique he calls the One Move. I know it might sound crazy, but it is about learning to want to have an anxiety attack. It's kind of like reverse psychology but it works!
This approach has made a world of difference. I applied the technique each morning (when I usually experienced worst anxiety) and immediately noticed a difference. I was no longer running away from the fear anymore. Several weeks passed without significant anxiety and then I slowly dared to do things I had been avoiding - driving on my own, flying on my own, going on a date where before I need a friend with me. One year later here I am writing this email feeling a lot better than I have done in years. I now do not fear anxiety creeping back anymore. It is kind of like because I have moved beyond it if that doesn't sound too corny. That is what this book and technique has taught me to do.
I look back on the time spent in anxiety as a very troublesome but now worthwhile experience. I learnt more about myself and people than ever before and I learnt that I have all the resources within me to deal with fear - I just needed the tools to do it with. I am writing this in the hope that it might ring home with even just one person who is a similar place as to where I was when I felt down and trapped in fear.
Want to see how my journey started started: Click here