Tip to Prevent Adolescence Suicide - Third Factors Part - 9

S Kalpna Sharma
 


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“Decision to commit suicide of a teenager is so momentous that he, even himself gets astonished if survived after a failed suicide attempt” My dear Ezine readers, I am indeed very grateful to all of you for the encouragement you have given to me in preventing Adolescence Suicide a worldwide endeavor. My attempt in saving our promising, potential, keen, aficionado and enthusiast teenagers really deserve the best of comforts, guidance and support to make our planet a peaceful place. The memories of Virginia University campus macabre massacre has left every sane person shattered; but nevertheless the life goes on as usual. Once, my grandfather Sri Ramji Das Mehta said quote “life on the earth does not wait for anyone and moves with the time. Anyone, who does not move with it, is left behind; and he has wasted those many happy moments of his life” unquote. When I analyze his last words, I find that every word of his quotes is true to the last word. You will agree with me that there is another cause also which tempts a teenager to take away his life. What are these issues I would share with my esteem readers?

When I wished to launch a series of articles on the burning issue of teenager suicide, I have never imagined that we united would be able to convince our teenagers to stop ending their lives under stress. Before I progress further; I would also debate about various concerns of teenagers due to which they go astray. The Pampered Child Syndrome (PCS) is not common in modern world. Readers would share my concern that such children are often known for indiscipline and arrogant behavior. What do I really mean with PCS is that a child who is provided with all worldly comforts but fails to adjust himself with his common colleagues and classmates.

While trying to analyze and understand the true causes of external factor affecting teenagers’ suicide other than parent and school, I have observed amongst parents of such teenagers three basic flows,

o My first view is that when the parents are exceptionally over committed and they find difficult to frequently share time with their wards, they often believe that their teenagers should be just contacted as and when required and not much attention is paid. Parents repeatedly overlook their teenagers various arrogant and hutted behavior. They feel that parents should provide maximum comforts to their wards while studying. I generally call it “King Comfort Clan” (KCC). There is a need for the parents to review what comfort is required; and what the bare necessities for studies are? I suggest that parents rather than fulfilling and meeting the necessities, must interact with their teenagers to become adaptable in the society. Over 42% teenagers from High Income Groups and Middle Income Groups (HIG/MIG) come from such background. Even sometimes single child amongst Hindus have enough coddled the child to blight his/her future. The parents need to be guided to manage time and space well to share their wards joyous moment and support stressful time.

o The second important facet is the Blind Provisioning of Requirement (BPR) of teenagers by some parents. The BPR should be carefully weighed before fulfilling their teenagers’ demands. Some times I have observed that parents fulfill the demand without judiciously analyzing the need. I would say the need and demand of teenagers has to be weighed against his Choice of Preferences Career (CPC) as debated earlier. Every parent has the wisdom to take premeditated steps in guiding their teenagers’ future. I suggest that parents should be alive to the environmental changes around their teenagers to take preventive measure in case of stress and strain is developed. The blind provisioning of needs often spoils the child at the later age. I identify the BPR as one of the most important cause of Teenagers and Adolescence Suicide (TAAS).

o My third perception is to debate about the reality of money in present environment. Some parents weigh everything with the money. I have termed it as “Money Mended Parents” (MMP). Parents, irrespective of the needs and requirements of their teenagers in schools, do shelve out money to their teenagers just to make them happier; but actually they have unintentionally paved the way for insolvent wards in long run. Such parents believe that every thing can be weighed with the money. Their perception is imbibed by their wards and exhibited at various occasion to assert their position with respect to other teenagers. teenager and I have observed that on as now discuss a few issues which are neither

After prolonged study on various suicide cases I have concluded that the “Decision to commit suicide of a teenager is so momentous that he, even himself gets astonished if survived after a failed suicide attempt”. Some of the teenagers have revealed that before making a Suicidal Attempt (SA) they have believed that:

  • One; the life is useless and I am relieving myself from the miseries of world;

  • Two; they feel themselves so helpless that they cannot achieve what they wanted; therefore, they must end their life. Such incidences take place with Highly Ambitious Parents (HAP).

  • Three; often they move around aimlessly for sometimes before an SA;

  • Four; normally either they become silent and secluded or very violent and arrogant from others while trying to conceal their intention;

  • Five; exhibit very tense and worrisome facial expression one or two days before the SA;

  • Six; often hint using threatening languages to end his/her life; and when parents take it as a joke, they commit suicide due to frustration. I have studied that a teenager would exhibit his intention very clearly to his parents before making a SA. He would surely dramatize his intention by words, deeds or action.

  • Seven; would exhibit sense of dejection and fruitless life. Such teenagers often begin to talk about the wasteful life and measures to free from worldly miseries.

  • Eight; generally acts in a manner to draw attention of his parents or someone he loves most. He would call and try to ascertain his position in his beloved people’s heart. Often he/she would say quote “how would you feel if I die” and so on.

  • Ninth; the sense of hatred reaches the zenith of such teenagers’ temperament. They repeatedly begin to talk about the person whom they dislike or had some problem. The abusive language should a clear indication to monitor their teenagers activities to avoid SA;

  • Tenth; I have also observed that some teenagers try to clear all their financial dues if any they had. They would reply very casually but clearly indicating their intention such as “I may not live longer to repay”, “who has seen future”, or “how do you know, who is alive tomorrow” and so on.

    The above activities of teenagers though engender doubts in the mind of all but

    parents seldom take it seriously. The theory of Third Suicidal Factors amongst teenagers goes to Sri Jagan Nath BA and Srimati Devki Devi who had always kept watch in my village to prevent such suicides. What are Third Suicidal Factors and how it influences teenagers to commit suicide?

    I defined the Third Suicidal Factor (TSF) as creation of adverse circumstances around a teenager’s environment which affects his customary behavior while performing studies at school”. The TSF are found out to be quite high amongst my pampered teenagers and some fatherless teenagers in third world and Asian countries. Though some odd cases can not be ruled out in European and American countries but by and large percentage is far higher in Asian countries. I would now discuss as to what are these TSF?

  • One; the first and foremost TSF is the Ambitions. The over, super and hyper Ambitious teenagers are more susceptible to exploit. They wish to succeed at all cost to fulfill their parent’s dream. I have come across a girl teenager who had compromised with her teacher to get good grade in the school. She continued to top the school but when time of real test came; she failed, thus, going into severe mental stress. She ended her life with a guilty conscience left behind in the suicide note. I suggest that parents should share their mind repeatedly with their teenagers that whatsoever they achieve with hard work are acceptable to them; therefore, the teenagers should work hard.

  • Second the next important TSF is the friendship and group of teenager. I have personally seen a teenager becoming druggist and going astray. They indulge in unwanted sex at premature age, thus, loosing vital body energy at very tender age. An old Indian saying, that chameleon changes color on seeing other chameleon” proofs true. The teenagers follow the society as per his friends circle. Generally teenagers of BPR and MMP become victim of such bad society. The latest Rap party of Pune in India where police have caught over two hundred adults and teenagers using drugs and liquor. A few teenagers from Low Income Group (LIG) usually get fascinated and trapped to ultimately either commit suicide or become criminals. I suggest that parents must maintain a working school schedule for their wards on monthly basis and one of the parents must routinely follow the schedule not to spy but to check teenager erroneous steps.

  • Third, another TSF issue is the Money. Some of the teenagers get involved in earning easy money to have comfortable but unaffordable life style of riches. Such teenagers follow illegal course and often end up in committing suicide. The modern lifestyle has drifted many brilliant students towards criminality. The easy money approach made many male teenagers chain snatchers or burglars. A teenager had attempted to commit suicide due to shame and disrepute he brought to his family after police nabbed him. Despite knowing well that he was not involved but police has caught him due his unknowingly close proximity with the boy who was actually a thief. I suggest that parents should keep a time schedule of their wards and often check with school authorities about any absence of their wards from schools.

  • Fourth; the most important TSF is the Improper Supervision Attitude (ISA) of parent’s both at home and school which drifts their teenagers towards gambling, drugs and liquor parties. I recommend that parents should maintain continuous communication with their wards. Parents need to carryout weekly free interaction to assert their educational preparations. Any lapse of parents in Time Managing and Monitoring Schedule (TMMS) of their wards might lead into unmanageable conditions later. All parents are request to maintain Som Kalpna Time Managing and Monitoring Schedule (TMMS) chart. It is a simple chart designed with a religious symbol of your religion in the top center followed by name of ward, date of birth, class and school time table including tuition. It should be thereafter divided as, subject, time from to, break tea or lunch, games and other. At the bottom should record tuition timings, television favorite serials or film times, and minimum forty five minutes of physical exercise or game playing time. The last Coolum should always have sleep time noted as Sleep before 11 PM and rise early to study at 5 or 6 AM.

  • Fifth; in addition to above a few other unforeseen TSF could be unintentional involvement in crimes or illegal activities such as copying during examinations on other student’s encouragement or so on. Notwithstanding the above, my suggestion approach of RASH are

    o Regularly interact and continuously monitor your teenager’s time schedule but never follow;

    o Avoid Pampering your child;

    o Support his bad decisions, and

    o Hear all problems patiently. My endeavor to debate about the Third Suicidal Factors (TSF), is to enlarge the base of educating probable couples to understand the complexities of life if teenagers fall pary to any of the TSF noted above. I am very certain that a large number of teenagers would be saved from falling pray to TSF with active understanding of parents and teachers. I would analyze the common causes of suicide other than one Attitudinal Changes noted above in my attempt to unfold as to why a teenager commits suicide?

    Readers’ views are solicited at som_kalpna@yahoo.com

    I, S Kalpna Sharma, am a freelance journalist who frequently write on various issues relating human values. My impetus of debate has been always focused on current issues which affect human beings life and social behavior. As always try to bring out debates on human values, my readers support base become large.

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