The Most Powerful Question any Abused Person can Ask


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When bad things happen to us, like abuse and violent acts, it can takes us years, or a lifetime to recover. But if we are to recover, we often seek out help of someone or a group of others.

What may initially seem to be a supportive person or community can, however, sometimes turn out to not be everything you hoped for. In this article I’d like to explore this and give you an incredibly empowering question to help you on your recovery.

When we’ve been abused the soul begins searching for answers. This often begins from a place of ‘Why me?’ and moves on to ‘Why did this terrible thing happen?’ It may then begin to look beyond itself and look for people to turn to for help.

While I’m sure there are many wonderful groups out there, I’m always wary of the groups that might encourage you to find your salvation through God. This isn’t because I have any anti-religious belief. This is for another reason.

Why am I saying this?

Following abuse or violence our mind become psychologically vulnerable. Yet, at the same time as searching for answers, the soul searches for something that is familiar and may seem comforting. Here, I suggest some caution. And here is why?

Recently I came across a young man who had been abused by his parents. He was taken into care and abused again. In adulthood he turned to God for his salvation and as been making the enquiry about why this happened to him. On the surface this all sounds a fairly natural course of action.

But in finding God he also found a group that told him the only way to redeem his soul was through God. They also taught him that their set of beliefs way was the only way to God. At the same time as being told this he was reminded to ‘Fear God. ’

If you’re recovering from an abuse, and searching for answers as well familiarity what can often happen is this: we exchange the last abuser for a new authoritarian figure with some very fixed ideas about how we should go about our life. In this example all you’ve done is replaced the bully.

Having been abused, I’m here to tell you that there is no one right way to move beyond abuse. I also want to say that I don’t subscribe to the ‘One way to God’ philosophy.

I do believe in a God, but my God loves me for all my faults. He is a guiding hand. He doesn’t want me to go from one abuser to another. He wants me to unmask my fears, overcome my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy and return to his love.

How could you do this?

What I found on my path of recover, and you may find this too, is that I began with the wrong question. I began by asking: ‘Why did this happen to me?’ When I moved on to recovery I stopped asking this question and began asking one that meant my life would change forever.

The question I asked was an empowering one. The answer led me through many adventures. It helped me uncover many personal mysteries and has led me to writing this article and sharing my life changing question with you now.

The question was this: ‘How do I use this experience to guide me towards being all I can be?’

Keep this question in mind from today on and pretty soon you will be on your path to the brighter future.

Love and Best Wishes


I hope that my newsletter, on creating a better life, will help you create a life you deserve. Find out more at


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