Are You Sure?
People are ‘unsure’ of their place, and who-and-what they are. Confidence is an assumption – not a tangible entity like a leg. Is self-confidence a product of your bank-account, a decade or two of success?
Real as a Right-Sided-Stroke
After fifteen-years as Division Vice-President overseeing 1,200 executives, graduating from MIT with a Ph. D, and earned wealth with all its support systems. He smiled comically as he shared his deepest secret with a stranger…
“Every day I come to work – that’s fifteen-years – I wait to hear they figured-it-out – that I’m faking it, and know-nothing. No, it didn’t happen today – but probably tomorrow – maybe not. Okay, I’ll stick it out for anotherday – I still got ‘em fooled – aint that the limit?”
How can you relax and enjoy your success when you fear your competency? Where does confidence come from? Is it genetic and hardwired, or can you buy it at Walmart?
Self-Confidence is not a ‘given’, it requires daily reinforcement at both your conscious and non-conscious mind - or its shoots-its-wad and silently departs like Hurricane Rita.
You’ve Heard of ANTs – ‘Automatic-Negative-Thoughts
Psychologists estimate we have two-hundred different ANTs living in our mind to advise us about our talents, character, and personal-worth. Ninety-eight percent of the time they automatically assure us we stink, are a no-talent, and are fooling-the-public.
Read the lips of the Australian tennis-pro playing for the title – who smashed the ball into the net – “You stupid, no-good S. O. B. You… *&$!!”, he says to himself.
His blood boils over, and he can hardly breathe, but it goes on for up to sixty-seconds. Guess happens to him on the next serve - in that state-of-mind? Right – he goofs again, and takes that as evidence the ANTs are right! Okay – what’s your first-reaction to falling-flat on your fact? You need a new strategy that empowers you – not insults you when you stumble.
The ANTs Got Him
The first step is having ‘Two-Minute-Strategies™’ to make self-esteem and personal-power automatic - and run on auto-pilot.
Know these Two-Minutes-Strategies and punch ‘illegitimate’ self-doubt – in the snout.
“Breathe-Stretch-Shake – Let-it-Go!”
First, the name – MASE, a superstar Rapper, released a lyric in 2005 on his “Welcome-Back” album called – ‘Breathe-Stretch-Shake and Let-it-go’.
Goal for us: annihilate the nasties from your mind, and alert the Big-Five senses to pay-attention and concentrate on the work-at-hand.
One-more-once – when you want to clear your head, focus on being productive – wake-up! your mind-and-body (not before going to sleep) – use ‘Breathe-Stretch-Shake – Let-it-Go!’
Personally - it should be a requirement every 90-minutes because we wind-down every one-and-a-half hours. That’s a scientific-fact, not an urban-myth.
This exercise takes no more than ninety (90) seconds!
1. Stand up – yes, that requires a decision.
2. Close your eyes – do it when you are in private.
3. Visualize your heart, and place your right-hand in the center of your chest.
4. Take a diaphragmatic breath (deeply inhale), and count to seven-beats - one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one…etc.
5. Switch hands and place your left-hand a hand-span above your navel (belly-button, umbilicus), and visualize your belly-button.
6. Hold that inhalation to a count of ten-beats – (seconds) while simultaneously visualizing your belly-button.
7. Exhale s-l-o-w-l-y to a count of seven-beats, and open your eyes.
8. Now – stretch out your arms and legs – and really s-t-r-e-t-c-h.
9. Shake-your-body vigorously – starting from your head and working down to your feet.
10. Last – and 50% of your grade – Slap-your-hand-down on a flat-surface, and shout-out - if it is appropriate, or self-talk – enthusiastically … “Let-it-Go!”
“But What’s the meaning of All This?”
We intellectuals – left-brain dominant – successful folk – spend 95% of consciousness analyzing the ‘why?’ of stuff. Just this once – just-do-it! - and focus on the ‘how’ of things. The results are instantaneous – your brain gets a 12% jolt of oxygen and glucose, and disposes of excess carbon dioxide.
You’re awake and kicking – and ready to ‘concentrate’ on whatever you choose.
Conduct your own experiment – ‘Breathe-Stretch-Shake – Let-it-Go!’ - and discover your power of focus-and-attention – particularly after you notice yourself winding-down to a snail.
“But when do I do this exercise…and how do I…?”
Who is the Boss of You?
Use your volition – c-h-o-o-s-e, make decisions. Resign from being a ‘grunt’, and be the commander-in-chief. It’s your life or go ask your Mama if this is worth learning. Confidence means ‘with-trust’, and leads to self-assurance through belief, when you take command of your mind-and-body.
copyright © 2005
H. Bernard Wechsler
Author of Barron's Educational publishing - ‘Speed Reading For Professionals', partner of Evelyn Wood, creator of speed reading, graduating 2 million, including the White House staffs of four U. S. Presidents.
see: http://www.speedlearning.org email@example.com