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Negotiation Techniques 9 Verbal Skills


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Performing well in an encounter is analogous to being an actor.

Everyone needs to plan and rehearse for an encounter which entails having prepared a script to avoid surprises.

This does not mean that you need to rote learn a series of lines, but generic words, behaviours (body language, attitudes, tone of voice), and so on are best rehearsed in advance.

Here are the 9 Verbal Skills

1. Say ‘No'

  • No, sorry.   See you tomorrow.

  • No, sorry, can't help you at the moment.   I'll be free, however, in an hour's time.

  • No, sorry, I can't, but Judy may be able to help you.

  • No, I'm sorry, but I feel somewhat uncomfortable with that decision.

  • No, I feel I need more time to think about this proposition in the interests of a fair resolution

    You get the idea?  You have a right to say ‘no’ to either gain more time, or simply to express how you feel.

    2. Direct and Dismiss

  • Direct: Get to the topic back on track.    This is important because people tend to wander and go off-topic.   If people get off-topic, the discussion loses momentum and is diluted.   Important points gained can be lost.

  • Dismiss:   If the question is about a product that has broken down, do not mention that it is the cheapest product in the range, focus on the warranty and suggest applying the warranty as the most satisfactory course of action.

    3. Question to Prompt Awareness

  • Be aware of your own behaviour

  • Diplomatically make others aware of their behaviour

    It has been said that everyone at some point in time has ADD that is, Awareness Deficit Disorder.

    4. Be Reaction-less

    This means that whatever the other person is saying and whatever manner or tone they using, do not under any circumstance react negatively.

    Keep your cool and keep focused on your pre-prepared course of action.

    5. Force a Choice

  • There comes a point in all negotiations and discussions when a resolution needs to be found.   Some people just cannot make up their mind, and need a little nudge.

  • This is sometimes called a Double Bind when you say to a person, would you prefer this or this, and that person now needs to make a choice.

  • It is also becoming very popular to use Triple Binds, so as to really ensure a decision is made.

  • Would you like to meet at this time, or this time, or this time: giving three options.

    6. Be aware of the Broken Record

  • Some people will go on and on, repeating the same information, the same concerns without contributing anything new to achieve a resolution.

  • You need to be aware of this tactic, and defuse it by guiding that person to contribute something new

    7. Ask for Specifics

  • If someone seems to be hedging (as in point 6 above), they could be confused.

  • It is very important to ask them, what specifically is holding them back from making a decision.

  • It is important here to look for ‘red flags’ or evasion tactics.   They may be avoiding the real issue and veiling it.

  • More questioning is then needed

    8. Decide on a Workable Compromise

  • If all else fails, it is necessary to come to a resolution of sorts.   A negotiation or discussion cannot go on forever.

  • Decide on what is the best workable compromise so that all parties feel that they have a ‘win’ of sorts.

    9. Threats

  • This should be used only as a last resort, and then proper legal advice should be obtained with possibly a mediator.

    Once you are comfortable with these you will be able to prepare a script with ease for your next negotiation encounter or discussion.

    Another useful skill at this stage is visualization.

    Remember to avoid negative mind-games and self-destructive messages.

    Visualization involves positive mind-games of success which will help you develop strategies and verbal skills for use in your encounters.

    Visualization is being increasingly used in many areas of personal development, not least of all in sport, where it is proving a useful motivational and planning tool.

    Have fun with this. It is worthwhile mastering it.

    Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

    Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as AD-HD and its relations.

    She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

    Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

    Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: “Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many Reports and online articles.

    Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

    Visit her websites:

    This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

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