Why Saying TOO Much, Is Costing You Sales!

Craig Garber

Visitors: 460

Some things are better left unsaid, and when it comes to writing sales copy, saying TOO much, will in fact, cost you sales.

Look, writing sales copy isn't easy - everybody knows that. But how do you know when you haven't said enough. . . and when you've said too much?

Here, come closer and I'll tell you a little story:

Well, we've completed our move and we're finally settling into our new home.

If you were one of the people who sent me “good luck" wishes, then I want to thank you VERY much for your kind thoughts.

Here's a funny thing that happened to us on the way over. Anne was in her car with our younger son and our daughter, and Iwas in the Wrangler with my oldest son Nick.

Coming across the state from Fort Lauderdale, we decided to take the more “scenic" local state roads instead of the interstate.

So we get off the Florida Turnpike at Yeehaw Junction (yes, that really is the name of the city) and started driving west across State Road 60.

No sooner do you get on State Road 60 though, you suddenly realize there are benefits to taking the interstate - like signs of life, for instance.

State Road 60 is a virtually empty slab of roadway, surrounded by nothing by citrus trees. . . cow pastures. . . remnants of what were once “happening" burger joints on the side of the road, but have long since been reduced to the equivalent of structural road-kill. . . and. . .


Yes, alligators.

We were about a half-mile into our westward journey across the state, and on the right side of the road - just outside the fencing around the cattle pastures - we saw the absolute largest alligator I've EVER seen, lying dead on its side.

As best as I can tell, it had to be somewhere between 7 and 8 feet long, with an absolutely enormous girth around - who knows, maybe it swallowed one of those cows before it got ran over by a truck or something.

Nick and I immediately called my wife on her cell phone (she was driving behind me) to ask if she had seen the gator, and sure enough - the three of them were wide-eyed and all excited over it, just like we were.

Today, we're still settling in of course, and fortunately, the lion's share of our boxes were picked up by the garbage guys this morning.

And in a few more days, with some luck, I may even be able to see the floor of my office.

Who knows?

Anyhow, let me tell you a quick marketing lesson you can learn, from two very dirty four letter words, I'm having to learn very quickly now.

Those two words are “yard work".

See, back in Plantation, which was a suburb of Fort Lauderdale, we had a small front lawn our homeowners association maintained, and I hired a lawn guy to mow the back yard once a week, for 10 bucks a pop.

No brainer, right?

But now, lakeside living's. . . a little. . . different.

For example, you get a rainstorm - and all those big cypress trees leave loads of twigs and moss all over your deck out back.


Pine needles shed all over your driveway.

Oh, and even though we've got pavers all over the place - weeds - and a seemingly endless amount of them at that - dependably get between every single crack and crevice in those pavers, easier than James Bond can infiltrate an enemy compound.

I live on a gorgeous 93-acre spring-fed lake. The white sandy bottom looks great - as long as the undergrowth is regularly pulled up.

Put it this way - in addition to living in a beautiful place, I've also just bought myself (and my sons) a few new chores in addition to the ones we already have.

Now surely, a lot of this stuff sounds worse that it is, but imagine if the seller (a great guy by the way) had spent time telling me about all that extra work that has to be done, instead of just showing me all the unique benefits of living here?

I MAY not have bought this house, or at least. . . I would have given it a LOT more thought.

Are you doing something similar to this in your marketing, unconscoiusly perhaps, without even knowing it?

Are you talking about all the “work" that needs to get done, for your customer to experience the most out of your goods and services?

Because nearly every single piece of sales copy I review says something like, “Look, this stuff won't work for you on it's own. You've really got to sit down and use it to make your life better. "

Or are you being smart and telling your prospects about all the incredible benefits your product's offering them, and how they'll change their life by ordering?

Be smarter than your competition - just because “yard work" comes along with owning a lake-house - doesn't mean you want to spend all your time talking about lifting rakes. . . mowing lawns. . . and running back-and-forth to Home Depot every other day.

Talk about relaxing out there in the warm jacuzzi overlooking your lake instead.

Make sense?

By the way, I'll post up some pictures of our new home sometime in the next few days.

Now go sell something,

Craig Garber

P. S. Check out all the prior archives you've been missing, right here at: http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/tiparchives.html

If you want to know how to consistently attract a steady stream of fresh new prospects, who are pre-qualified, eager, and excited about buying from you, then Craig Garber - recognized by his peers as America's Top Direct-Response Copywriter - can show you exactly how to do this, step-by-step. Garber's written winning promotions across a HUGE variety of industries and you can see them all for yourself on his website at http://www.kingofcopy.com


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