I am among those who know that one never recovers from the loss of one deeply loved. We come to accept the death and adjust our lives - rather begrudingly, but we do not recover, we survive. Somewhere in the grief process, we make the decision to survive and then we are emotionally enabled to build a different kind of relationship with our deceased loved one.
Mother, I Don't Mind The Pain
When you died my dearest, blessed mother,
I had no sights or thoughts for tomorrow.
My soul experienced a wrenching eruption
Of pain and grief and excruciating sorrow.
The anguish of spirit: so unbearable;
The agony of mind: so intense,
The suffering in body: so unceasing,
Against all: I had no defense.
Nevertheless, beloved, I need you to know,
And I pray you can hear what I say.
I don't mind the pain I'm going through.
It's a small price, for our love, to pay.
We knew that one day we would have to part;
That death would come by in due time.
We knew how hard it would be for the other,
Who had to courageously linger behind.
But we knew our bond was worth the cost,
And valued each moment together we shared.
Now that I must without you go on,
The pain of my loss I will not be spared.
I wouldn't, if I could, give my pain away.
It's special and mine all alone.
It affirms all the love that I felt for you,
And in me, it can only be known.
So mother, though the pain of grief I endure
Will gradually and slowly subside.
The strength of the love that you and I share,
In the core of my heart will forever abide.
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D. D. , is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.