Already on ArticleSlash?

Forgot your password? Sign Up

CHAPTER 7 Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty on the Short List For VP


Visitors: 241
 1 vote

It just had to happen - you knew it especially if you've read Chapters 1 thru 6 on this site. No matter what you may have thought before, Ms Kitty was destined to make the short list for Vice President in someone's mind. It was inevitable.

This is going to be a hard fought campaign to the end. Florida's hanging chads might well come into play again because eight short years is surely not enough time to teach those Floridians how to do a ballot no matter how simple you make it - especially in Broward County where tests have shown they are slow learners.

Anyway, Ms Kitty has been put on notice that she is in competition in both the Obama search and ‘Mad Dog’ McCain's possible selection. Ms Kitty is being given the once over more than once in both instances. Every possible ‘cat litter’ is being examined closely.

"Why is that?" you may ask. Simple. Ms Kitty is an ‘Independent’ elected to her first term in Congress. She obviously has no baggage except she is from the State of California. That would be enough in itself to disqualify her in some people's eyes - especially my good friend and fellow Marine, Colonel Jim Bathurst. Jim doesn't like anything ‘California’ - even avocados! Polls show he is not alone in that - not liking avocados, that is.

It has been brought up that the main objections to anyone being selected as a VP candidate - other than her ‘Californianess’ - are not present in her as a choice as in other possible choices. She did not vote for the war in Iraq. She did not vote for it before she voted against either. She cannot be accused of being a Bush supporter although she did visit the White House on one occasion as is detailed in Chapter 6. (Her dustup with First Dog Barney surely soured any relations she might have established with GW!) Ms Kitty has no philandering former President husband who may have shaky post-Presidential financial dealings as is the case in at least one instance. She certainly has not changed positions in her short time in Congress. No flip flopping for Ms Kitty, thank you. She has never used claims of sexism or racism to get where she is today, that's for sure. No sir, she's no Maxine “Muddy’ Waters or even a Reverend Al or Jessie when it comes right down to it. She is as pure as can be when it comes to possible skeletons in her closet - excepting a few instances of bird hunting out of season.

The conservative right may strongly object to her selection when they learn she had an ‘abortion’ as a teenager - well , the vet called it ‘spaying’ in her case, but the right wingers may classify it as such. There really was no ‘choice’ in her case because her previous owner did not really know she was ‘with kittens’ when she had the procedure performed. She was merely concerned with Ms. Kitty's welfare at the time. Nothing else. Neither ulterior motives nor social positions.

Certainly the liberal left will oppose her for many reasons. She has no voting record pro - environment. Not once did she throw herself in front of bulldozers nor chain herself to a tree. She did not vote against the Iraq War - or any war for that matter - and has really no position on offshore drilling which seems to be coming to the front lately. Goodness, she doesn't lean left in the slightest so she's out according to the folks on ‘Air America’ or ‘Countdown with Keith Olbermann’. Rachel Radow, now nearly co-anchor and bosom cohort of Olbermann, wears less makeup than Ms Kitty on her worse day. At least Ms Kitty has a feminine collar, red in color and quite fancy. So Rachel would definitely not approve which Keith would ‘schmoozingly’ agree as a correct choice having been made.

The New York Times surely will not endorse her for VP no matter what. She can not expect such lofty praise from them - there is no possible way they could sink her during the campaign - should McCain pick her especially - as is their tendency to do. She's too clean a candidate for them to dig up dirt on even if the dirt was not exactly accurate or timely.

The Washington Post could go either way as long as it's Barack's way. If Barack were to choose Ms Kitty, the Washington Post would support him on her choice saying something to the tune of “Barack has made an excellent choice in this instance - one of which he can be proud. " Then they would send their slickest reporters out to discredit Ms Kitty.

New Yorker Magazine may feature her on their cover one day as the ‘compleat cat', but I hope it is without a turban and such as we already went through that rigmarole in a previous Chapter detailing her lineage. She is a Catholic cat with no ties to any Black Liberation Theology whatsoever. Nor any other religion of any questionable nature.

So Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty is again in the limelight in Washington, DC whether she wants to be or not. Undoubtedly she would make a fine Vice President. She would not shoot anyone while hunting, give away CIA agents names, nor ‘invent’ the internet while in office. And, she certainly would not attempt to undermine the elected President in hopes of having a shot at the brass ring in 2012!

You must read Chapters 1 thru 6 on this site to really appreciate Ms Kitty and her controversial rise to success.

Major Dennis Copson is retired from The United States Marines and is a resident of Oceanside, CA where he is the Director of Sales and Marketing for Nature's Big Bud Worm Castings, Inc. He is also a freelance writer. More info is available on his website


Article Source:

Rate this Article: 
Kitty Deserves Good Cat Furniture
Rated 5.0 / 5
based on 1 vote

Related Articles:

Kitty Litter

by: Darren Davis (December 30, 2007) 

Hello, Kitty? Is There Anything You Cant Sell?

by: Cattie Coyle (July 28, 2008) 
(Shopping and Product Reviews)

How to Build a Kitty Condo

by: Marjorie Labay (July 23, 2008) 

Toilet Train Kitty? Why? Why Not?

by: Katherin Towers (December 18, 2008) 

Pay Into the Kitty How Does Escrow Work?

by: Kristin Abouelata (July 21, 2008) 
(Finance/Mortgage Refinance)

Secrets to Cat Biting Have Fun With Kitty Without Pain

by: Katherin Towers (June 29, 2008) 

Cat Illnesses - What You Do Not Know Could Kill Your Kitty - 1, Not 9 Lives

by: Rob Metras (October 28, 2008) 

Cat Furniture Without It, Your New Kitty Will Destroy Your Home

by: Jennifer Akre (July 01, 2008) 

Cat Carriers - Carry Your Kitty in Style

by: Jennifer Akre (December 14, 2008) 

Kitty Deserves Good Cat Furniture

by: Chris Robertson (November 20, 2008)