I was watching another depressing segment on some all-news channel when the subject of milk came up. If you haven’t heard, milk is poison. That’s it. I really should be dead by now.
It’s a wonder anyone from the Sixties is alive today to talk about the bad old days. I’m beginning to think it is the generation with nine lives. I mean let’s go through the list already.
1. Metal appointed dashboards, brakes that required two zip codes of space between cars, and no seat-belts.
2. Carbon monoxide smoke outdoors and second-hand, unfiltered, cigarette smoke indoors. All the time and everywhere.
3. Live rock concerts with long English endings whose volumes reached sonic boom proportions from first screaming guitar chord to last.
4. Meat. Meat byproducts. Meat products made from meat byproducts. Six days a week.
5. Asbestos everywhere. I use to chip off pieces from the insulation around the basement pipes to chew on for pleasure.
6. Kids were encouraged to roam freely within a square mile of the neighborhood. In fact, kids were specifically instructed by parents to “get lost" as they were shoved out the front door.
7. Dental procedures. My dentist use to give me a piece of Bazooka bubble gum after reconstructing each decaying tooth in a nice mercury-based, silver finish. Of course, the rot was located by x-rays that could penetrate six inch steel, and render a mustang impotent in one pulse.
8. No helmets for anything other than football and space missions (and even then it was optional).
9. Milk, eggs, Wonder Bread and butter!
And we are worried about baby boomers emptying the social security coffers!
This article was written by humorist Robert Crane. Author of “Still Living in the Sixties" and “The Single Adventure of Inlin Freebosh", Robert also writes a popular blog of casual observations and polical commentary, almost always unfair and never balanced, all of which can be freely read at his website located in the outer edges of the “internets":