Most of us carry childhood traumas made acute with the rise in child psychology. This has resulted in us trying to become the friends of our children, but not just that. We try to do everything for them under the excuse that our parents did not do these things for us. But is this the right way to bring up our children.
What is the Butterfly System?
Most know that the butterfly is a transformation of a caterpillar which itself comes from an egg. But, did you know that for the caterpillar to become a butterfly it has to form a cocoon. When it turns into a butterfly, it has to struggle to open the cocoon, and it takes them hours to manage to break that open. Once they do, they emerge, spread their wings and fly off.
If you try and cut open the cocoon to help the butterfly emerge, you will destroy it. It will be too weak to fly. So, even if you put it in front of you and even if its in your power to cut the cocoon open, you won't because you are thinking about the best interests of the butterfly.
Just like you would leave the butterfly trapped inside the cocoon, you have to learn how to let your children fight through life by themselves. Yes, at first, they will not succeed, and may even fail badly. You will want to help them. You might even know how to help them. But, please, do not!
The Toughest Part:
The lesson is easily understood, but it is very difficult to start acting like that. We, as parents, have to realize that our duty is not to have fun with them or to ensure that they succeed, but to guide them so that they learn how to succeed.
Lessons for the Future:
We have to start goading our kids to success. Yes, we all love it when our kids do well, but its more important that they learn how to succeed even if that means that they fail again and again. Sometimes, the kids do well. That is great, but again, we have to watch how they do it. If they cheat, its our duty to guide them.
This might seem trivial, but how many times have you helped your child do his or her homework or class project just so that they will get a good grade. Is that what parenting is all about? Good grades and tons of awards in the closet? No!
Remember that if your children do not learn how to succeed when they are young, they will not pick it up as they grow older.
What to Remember:
Answer the following for me: Do you want your child to do well now? Or do you want your child to succeed when he grows up? Remember that you have to choose one. If you are lucky you might get both, but what I am saying is that you have to focus your parenting on one goal only.
Jack Reider has two children, and he raises them according to the butterfly principle. One has gone on to become the CEO of an online casino and the other is on his way to banking glory.