Although John Kerry was not very merry when he lost his bid for President, he continued to maintain that he deserves a second chance. He might have had one if it weren’t for two very significant obstacles: Hillary Clinton and John Kerry.
There is little he can do about the allure of Hillary. Though she’s a member of the party that seems determined to be at odds with the inclinations of most Americans, she might have so much appeal that she can pull off a Presidential win.
But a more significant obstacle for Senator Kerry is the Senator himself. Veteran politico that he is, he seems to have run his own swift boat into the rocks. How could he have allowed himself such an egregious misjudgment as to state before a university audience that anybody who doesn’t study hard could “get stuck in Iraq”?
Oh, he did have the sense to offer an apology, or was persuaded to provide one. But what a lame excuse. He said he misspoke and actually meant to say that such a neglectful student could become a President who gets the nation stuck in Iraq. The circumlocution is so awkward it would only have a place in a very hastily scribbled script and would very likely be misspoken. It matters little.
He gave the Republican lions just the steak they were longing to have tossed to them and they went to work on it ravenously. He also became, in the opinion of many of his fellow Democrats, a candidate with a mild case of leprosy.
Given the inviting choice of Hillary Clinton and his own woeful punch at his own jaw, just how merry can his prospects be for a second run as the Democratic candidate?
Of course, he can always promise to have his mouth wired shut. But it’s hard to imagine a Presidential candidate with such an encumbrance on the campaign trail. At least, he would have a credible excuse for misspeaking.
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com , has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny, " “witty, " with “good, genuine laughs" and “great humor and ebullience. "