Women Have Taken Over The World

 


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It was Memorial Day week-end, and something I've enjoyed for many years, is to watch the Indianapolis 500 race! I'm not, necessarily, a racing fan, but I live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and it is home to the famous Unser racing family. Between them, they have NINE Indy wins. . . four victories for Al Unser; three wins for Bobby Unser; and two wins for Al's son. . . Little Al. Because of this, I watched the race, to pull for the Unser family of racers!

There has always been a woman in the race for the past several years, and that's the way it should be. If a woman and her team can qualify, give her the wheel. But, this year was different! All 33 drivers in this field were women. . . that's right, women! Scary, eh?

I watched on television, as so many other racing fans did across the country. . . and I couldn't believe my eyes. I must have looked like a “tree full of owls, " watching television! Not only the 33 drivers were women, but all the pit crews were women, too! The 300,000 fans in the stands were all women; the broadcasters were women; the reporters were women; there was a peanut girl; a popcorn girl; a soft drink girl. . . NOT A MAN IN SIGHT! “What's going on here?" I thought to myself! There were no men anywhere!

My eyes were glued to the television set, as I could not imagine 33 “women drivers, " racing at the Indy 500. . . all doing over 250 miles per hour! I didn't want to watch, but I had to! I remember the old “Powder Puff" races where women used to drive, but the top speed at those races was only 18.5 miles per hour! (big deal) We're talking about over 250 miles per hour here!

Nothing like this had ever happened before, so I went to the newspaper to read more about it, and to get the starting line-up. One of the headlines in the sports page read, “Record speed set at Indianapolis 500 of 287.5 miles per hour!" “WOW!" We've got some lead-foots out there! There was not even one man in the stands. . . nowhere to be seen! “Could women be taking over the world". . . I thought to myself! As I read the newspaper, the Indy field of the 33 drivers went like this:

Row 1; (Pole) April Showers; Monica Jones; Maggie Reynolds

Row 2; Candice Piper; Carol Newton; Melinda Raynor

Row 3; Nancy Pembro; Tiffiny Holbrooke; Cheryl Mize

Row 4; Candy Barr; Heidi Smith; Teresa Rodriquez

Row 5; Carmen Sanchez; Dorothy Young; Pat Ludwig

Row 6; Sparkle Plenty; Phyliss Acherman; Susan Templeton

Row 7; Gloria Campos; Angela Johnson; Misty Moonlight

Row 8; Joanne Kellogg; Susan Suranwrap; Annabel Wynn

Row 9; Heather Stratton; Mary Dunn; Penelope Warner

Row 10; Kim Singleton; Sharon Stacy; Betty Krocker

Row 11; Jennifer Wright; Jessica Jones; Kitty Litter

Boy o boy. . . these women meant business, as the race got started! And, I must have looked like a “tree full of owls, " as I watched the race on television. . .33 women race car drivers doing over 250 miles an hour in ONE place? I was scared to death! I had to look away at the start, but as the race progressed, the women were doing pretty good! I was amazed. . . no accidents; no chills; no spills. . . it even got boring for a while. The women were doing okay, and everything went smoothly, as they made the men look like a bunch of “women drivers!"

Round and round they went, and finally the last lap and it boiled down to a race between Candy Barr and Susan Suranwrap. This was a fight to the finish. . . they were neck and neck coming down the final stretch! One would take the lead. . . and then the other. . . and then the other. . . the crowd was going wild! Three hundred thousand women were on their feet rooting them on. . . and by a few tenths of a second. . . the winner was. . . Susan Suranwrap! People in the stands were jumping up and down; screaming and yelling! The crowd went wild!

I had a terrible night! I couldn't get to sleep. . . I tossed and turned all night! I was huffing and puffing, as sweat poured down my face. . . as I sat up in bed! I was having a nightmare about billions of women taking over the world. . . women dominating the the Indy 500! . . . I couldn't take it anymore! And, as I sat up in bed, I thanked the Higher Up. . . that it was only a bad dream!

email; humordoctor@aol.com Website; humordoctormd Over 200 colorful pages; over 500 graphics http://humordoctormd.homestaed.com Copyright; Jerry Aragon; 2006

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