Many years ago, Earl Nightingale made a recording called, “The Strangest Secret in the World. " He spoke about an age old secret that is rediscovered every generation by a fortunate few. This secret, which has been mentioned by sages for ages, is that “We become what we think about. " Another way of putting it is that we attract into our lives what we focus on most of the time. This is the law of attraction which means that like attracts like.
Recently a movie called “The Secret" and several current books discuss the Law of Attraction. Quantum Physics has also revealed that anything we bring into focus and observe is changed. Our perceptions influence matter. Our thoughts and life dreams can be transformed into reality.
If you focus your attention on what you lack, you are more likely to get more of what you lack and don’t want. If you visualize your desired outcome, expect it to occur, and imagine that your goal already has happened, then this dream is likely to come true. The thought of your goal becomes even stronger and more likely to occur when you associate positive emotions such as gratitude and joy with your desired outcome.
Why Law of Attraction methods sometimes fail to work.
The question I am often asked as a life coach who teaches Law of Attraction strategies is, “Why do they work sometimes and not at other times?" For example, one person imagines attracting the ideal partner and it happens, but when this same person imagines a great career it doesn’t happen. Why is it that someone can visualize a desired outcome and feel positive emotions about it for over a year and still not manifest their goal? This is the primary question I want to address in this article.
Why do law of attraction strategies sometimes fail to work? What is the main obstacle in the way? The answer is, “Your own inner resistance. " I am referring to your resistance to achieve the goal you desire to fulfill. This resistance may be conscious or unconscious.
There is a part of your mind which does not feel that the achievement of this goal is in your best interest. This part of your mind can sabotage your success. This creates an approach-avoidance conflict. All parts of you are not in alignment and unified toward fulfilling the goal. So it is like you are driving to a destination with one foot on the accelerator and the other foot on the brake. How can you get to your goal if you are pulling in different directions? This is the problem.
Without resistance you can easily achieve your objective.
Your Law of Attraction strategies will work easily for manifesting your desires when there is no inner resistance. This explains why you might easily and quickly attract the career of your dreams and fail to attract the love of your life.
The part of you that is resisting can be about many things. For example, deep down inside you may not feel that you deserve love, happiness, or success. As a young child you may have concluded that you were “not good enough" to receive some of life’s blessings for example. This false conclusion made as a child may be long-forgotten, but it can be running your life at an unconscious level. You are longing for a particular dream to be realized and yet one part of you is saying “no. "
What is the solution to this agonizing dilemma?
Let me illustrate the answer with a personal example from my own life. Many of my life dreams easily came true and some were realized through much effort. However, one of my biggest dreams, the desire to find an ideal partner and soul mate, consistently eluded me. I searched for over forty years without success. In 2003 I began to use some Law of Attraction strategies because my outer search was obviously not working. I started imagining that my true love was already in my life and I often experienced feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and joy. After nine months of this practice I realized that my dream was not coming true because I must have some inner resistance. I believe that the two steps that I was practicing would have worked without an extra intervention, if there had not been resistance on my part.
About this time in my life, I read a free and downloadable article at www.Pathwork.org which confirmed my insight. I also worked for awhile with one of their coaches. The article was about the “yes and no current. " The “yes current" is the part (or parts) of you which is ready to receive your desired outcome. The “no current" is the part that is resistant to receiving this blessing. I discovered that I did have a “no current" which was keeping me from finding the right partner. By discovering my “no current" I weakened it; it began to let go. Every part of me was then saying “yes" with no inner resistance. Bonnie, my sweetheart and soul mate, appeared in my life soon after. Actually I had known Bonnie as an acquaintance for over 25 years and never realized she was the one who I was trying to find.
Discovering what my no current was about.
My “no current" had to do with my mother, who never experienced a great marriage and didn’t find happiness in romantic relationships. I falsely concluded (as a child) that it would hurt my mother if I ever found, “true love, " with her still unfulfilled. This long-forgotten false conclusion from childhood was still operating in me as an adult on an unconscious level. It became a “no current, " preventing me from realizing my dream of finding a great relationship.
When I discovered what my “no current" was about, I could see how ridiculous it was and it lost its power over me. I knew with my conscious adult mind that my mother would love for me to have a wonderful relationship with a significant other.
Finally then, I was able to give my self permission to love and be loved by a compatible partner. Every part of me was now saying “yes" to a relationship. This occurred one month before my relationship with Bonnie began.
How to overcome inner resistance.
If Law of Attraction strategies are not working for you, identify the inner resistance and bring it into the light of consciousness. This will dissipate its power. You can win over and befriend the resistant part of yourself so there is nothing holding you back from fulfilling your dream.
You may be thinking, “Okay, maybe I have inner resistance to realizing my goal because just imagining I have attained it has not made my dream come true. " The question you have to answer is, “How do I identify and win over this resistant part of myself?" There can be many ways to accomplish this, but I will share with you what worked for me.
At the suggestion of my Pathwork coach, I began a dialog (both verbal and written) with the part of me that I suspected was resisting finding my true love. I assumed that this part was like a hurt child. With love, compassion, and non-judgment, I asked this part to reveal to me what the “no current" was about. This put me in touch with my deepest intuition. I believe that the answers to our dilemmas are within us. At an intuitive level you know the answers to your own problems.
Through this dialog process my false conclusion about my mother was revealed to my conscious adult mind. The “no current" lost its power and I could finally give myself permission to receive the love that I had longed to experience.
Which of your dreams and longings have remained unfulfilled? Imagine that your goal has already happened, associate positive emotions with it, and then overcome any inner resistance to your dream becoming reality. This is the secret for getting Law of Attraction strategies to work for you.
Copyright 2007. Raymond Gerson
Raymond Gerson has a masters in psychology and over forty years experience teaching career and personal development. Career and life coach, job placement specialist, and former executive recruiter, he also teaches college success strategy courses. He is the author of five books, including Create the Life You Want, which expands on how to use the law of attraction to fulfill your dreams. For more information on his books and articles go to http://www.raymondgerson.com Raymond used law of attraction principles to attract Bonnie, his soul mate. They are married and live in Austin, Texas.