I am a dad. I have been now for over 8 years. And I suppose I don’t know just everything there is to know about being a dad, good bad or otherwise.
I have learned a couple of things though.
My wife, Susan and I had been married for about 6 years before my daughter, my oldest child Andrea was born. I cut the umbilical cord and almost immediately began to wonder how I was going to teach her. How could I lead her. How was I going to be the all knowing FATHER figure, I was sure I was supposed to be.
I wondered if I would have the wisdom in me to guide her through life’s biggest decisions.
How could I lead her as she chose a career when I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up?
How could I instill in her the wisdom necessary to choose a husband when my own wonderful marriage was a series of happy accidents, blind commitment and amazing providence.
How could I help her find her way spiritually and morally. The questions I anticipated were just so DEEEEEPPPP! And I was just so shallow.
I know now that you start with the small stuff.
When Susan and I first found that we were going to have a baby, I got involved. we read books. We went to Lamaze classes. I was going to be the amazingly capable husband and coach in the delivery room. When the time came, I was barely able to stand up at the head of the delivery bed, hold Susan’s hand and keep from passing out.
When we had our second child, Alizabeth , I was more experienced. I was a little more capable. When our son Steven arrived I was an old pro and when our fourth baby came to us the doctor actually told me I would have to move over so she could perform the delivery instead of me. I still think I could have delivered Abigail myself.
When you first become a parent, you start with the diapers and learn to protect your baby and allow them to grow. What I learned is that you can grow with them.
You don’t have to know how to guide their career choices. You have to teach them to finish what they start and to love a job well done.
You don’t have to teach your children to wisely choose a spouse, you have to let them know that they have intrinsic worth with or without Mr. or Mrs. right.
You don’t have to answer all of the big spiritual and moral questions. You have to teach them to love God and to love others.
If you can start with holding your wife’s hand and keep from passing out, you can move on to the big stuff when you’re ready
Steve Brummet is a communication expert, writer and speaker who works with all types of organizations to increase understanding of communication styles.
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