How do you feel when you meet someone, perhaps a business person, who you’ve only seen once before at meeting. . . and they remember you AND your name?
It feels great doesn’t it? And, be honest, rather flattering too. And because of that you probably have more rapport with them.
Now let’s turn that around and say it’s you who always manages to remember people and their names. Do you think they just might be more interested in doing business with you? Or recommending you to their business colleagues who are looking for what you offer?
Here’s how to make remembering people easier…
* When you are introduced to someone make sure you hear their name clearly.
* Repeat the name and ask if you’ve got it right.
* Check the spelling with them if it is unusual… they will be flattered that you consider them important enough to take the trouble.
* Repeat the name twice, silently in your mind, to give yourself a better chance of remembering it.
* Ask a question and listen
Listening is a Skill – Take Time to Develop It…
The challenge we all have is to silence or ignore our own thoughts. Especially whilst other people are talking.
How often have you drifted off in your mind whilst someone is talking?
Perhaps, like I used to be, you are guilty of finishing people’s sentences for them? It took me a while to stop that one, I can tell you! Especially with people who were more precise in their conversation and took their time to finish a sentence, it could be agonising for me.
Or if you don’t interrupt, perhaps you are busy thinking about what you are going to say just as soon as they stop to take a breath. Yep, been guilty of that too!
Guilty, that is, until I found this neat trick. Peter Thomson told me about it in the late 1990’s and it’s a real gem. He calls it Active Listening, which is a pretty good description.
It’s great for group meetings; presentations; 1-to-1 meetings; in fact any conversations at all.
Here’s what you do…
Repeat, internally, everything the other person is saying.
It gives you 7 clear benefits:
1) You don’t miss anything important that is being said
2) You understand the communication better
3) You give the impression of being very interested in what the other person has got to say
4) Your reply, which you won’t be in a position to make until the other person finishes speaking, appears considered and relevant because of the slight pause
5) Your reply is more relevant because you have completely understood the previous part of the conversation.
6) You do not annoy the other person by interrupting them
and the definite bonus…
7) You can recall the conversation and important details more clearly, when you need to, at a later date.
By the way, it is a good idea to practise this technique in private or with a group of friends or business colleagues before ‘going live’. The other person will find it a bit disconcerting if you stare at them with a glazed look in your eyes. And they certainly will not be flattered if you move your lips whilst repeating their words internally!
©2005 Original Work by Carol Bentley
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